Distanced Couple

There is hope for your marriage!  If you have found yourself struggling to cope with the fractures in your marriage counseling is an option for restoring confidence in the marriage.  I view the goal of marriage counseling as that of helping to preserve the nuclear family.  Counseling will assist to stabilize the family while mending the fractures in communication, trust, and hope.  The benefit goes beyond the couple themselves and is providing their children the gift of a nuclear family, the gift of security found in the family, and the gift of unconditional love that pushes through conflict in family.  More importantly, parents can positively shape their child’s concept of what marriage is and is not according to God’s plan beginning in Genesis.  God designed marriage as a partnership.  That means the goal for the couple is to learn to be there for each other by recognizing needs within the marriage unit that are not being met.

What to expect:

When you choose to engage in couples counseling with me, expect that both partners will have to put in work outside of counseling in order to change the course of the marriage.  Since much of conflict arises from poor communication, couples will learn what types of communication are helpful for meeting needs and what is harmful delaying or even blocking getting needs met.  Couples will begin to recognize bids for affection and activate effective communication skills that will foster attunement sensitivity.  We will work to identify potential obstacles like broken trust or prior relational wounds for example that disrupt harmony within the relationship.  We will expose and examine the expectations that each partner brings into the relationship. All this is working to provide insight for what is needed to bridge gaps that cause conflict. 

 

My style and method for marriage counseling may look different from other experiences.  Couples will get out of it what they put into it.  In other words, counseling works best with couples who both take responsibility for the state of their relationship and are willing, in attitude and action, to honestly examine themselves not just focus on their partners’ short comings.  Couples must be willing to put in the time for counseling as well as be willing to activate new skills through the activities and exercises that will be required.  Research based methods and principles are taught in order that couples have the skills and tools for nurturing and maintaining a loving relationship/partnership that honors their marriage covenant and preserves the nuclear family affording their children a model family for their adult years to come. 

 Objectives for Couples Counseling:

  • Preserve the nuclear family

  • Honor God’s design for the family by highlighting principles outlined in scripture.

  • Equip couples with wisdom, knowledge, and the tools to navigate a sound relationship.

  • Build on individual strengths that serve to compliment your partner.

  • Nurture core values that thread together the marriage while, exposing those that have the potential to be a point of conflict.

  • Develop coping tools to manage triggers enabling couples to work through the conflict.

Marriage Counseling

 
Romantic Proposal
SYMBIS-badge-color.png

Planning marriage is a huge step.  Congratulations on this milestone!  I view the goal of pre-marriage and marriage counseling as that of helping to preserve the nuclear family.  When couples embark on pre-marital counseling, they will begin to unpack and acknowledge elements within any marriage that sometimes go unexplored, ignored and/or even dismissed.  Research recognizes that much conflict arises in a union when relational and emotional expectations are not met and communication is poor.  This often leads to separation, fights, and even divorce in some cases. 

Marriage will encounter turbulent seasons and the conflict that arises in these seasons is often traced back to core elements we will be tackling in our meetings together.  God’s marriage plan beginning in Genesis is a partnership.  We live in a culture that is hyper-focused on the individual which in effect undermines harmony in a relationship.  Society is saturated with messages that are self-serving setting us up for disappointment and disillusionment.

 

What to expect:

 

I use the SYMBIS Assessment to help us begin to unpack core elements in the relationship that serve to promote honest and transparent dialogue while appropriately shaping the expectation of your marriage.  The research shows that couples are 31% less likely to divorce if they engage in some form of pre-marriage counseling.   I will invite you to engage in completing your own assessment which will reveal how you as a couple will strengthen one another, compliment on another and even reveal potentially vulnerable areas to navigate gently.

Objectives for Pre-marriage Counseling

  • Complete assessment

  • Examine and recognize key elements in God's design for marriage and family.

  • Equip couples with wisdom, knowledge, and the tools to navigate a sound relationship.

  • Build on individual strengths that serve to compliment your partner.

  • Nurture core values that thread together the marriage while, exposing those that have the potential to be a point of conflict.

  • Develop coping tools to manage triggers enabling couples to work through the conflict.

Premarital Counseling

 
Support Group

Marriage Matters
Group Counseling

Marriage Matters

 

Begins Feb 2022 - Meets Weekly for 12 Weeks

 

Most envisioned their marriage to be happy and fulfilling.  Unfortunately, too many marriages are fractured leaving  to couples to question their ability to hold firm to their commitment. Group counseling is an option for restoring key elements that support a healthy marriage.   In order to be a healthy functioning couple, partners need to be in sync with one another meeting each-others’ relational, emotional and physical needs. By engaging in counseling, couples will develop a secure functioning relationship that will nurture the covenant relationship, foster acceptance and activate admiration for their spouse. 

Look, conflict is inevitable, and it is healthy.  Conflict can strengthen relationships if couples don’t attack their partner’s character or weaponize their partner’s vulnerabilities.  Infidelity in a relationship is its own challenge and when trust has been broken, couples have to work to build a new marriage.   Trust is difficult to regain because the wounds are painful and deep and the seed of doubt that roots deep in the wounds is difficult extinguish and show up in unexpected places within the relationship. 

What to expect:

Couples will engage in counseling in a small intimate group with 2 -3 other couples.  There is value in connecting with others and being able to relate to couples having similar struggles.  Couples will be introduced to skills that are grounded in research founded by The Gottman Institute. 

  

Group Objectives:

  • Stimulate a deeper emotional connection

  • Improve communication

  • Develop effective tools to navigate future situations

  • Activate skills to enhance sensitivity to attunement